The Lost Fiver

One morning as we to the market was bound
We spied a poor lost five pound note on the ground
Someone had left it alone on the street
We felt we should help this poor note at our feet

We picked up that fiver as you’ve prob’ly guessed
And soon we perceived that it had no address
Since we couldn’t trace it we found it a home
By calling that poor little fiver our own

We argued a while as to how we should share
This manna from heaven that was just lying there
But since Arthur nearly got maths CSE:
“One pound sixty six and two thirds of a pee”

We walked on our way feeling merry and bright
In fact everything in the world seemed alright
And as we walked further a sight met our eyes
Good Lord it’s a pub – what a pleasant surprise

So I bought a round and then he bought a round
And then he bought a round and then I bought a round
And the he bought a round and then he bought a round
And all with that fiver we found on the ground

So feeling quite merry we went on our way
But we never got to the market that day
We found a policeman below Market Street
Not quite the fellow we wanted to meet

And then one week later our case came to court
It didn’t last long – in fact it was short
For breach of the peace at the end of the town
The judged fined each of us the sum of five pounds

There is a mor-i-ale to this sad tale
Don’t spend your fivers on beer and strong ale
Turn out your pockets and throw them away
Or they’ll haul you up in a court room one day

Tooraligh ooraligh ooraligh-ay
Tooraligh ooraligh ooraligh-ay
Tooraligh ooraligh ooraligh-ay
So turn out your pockets and throw them this way