Always Keep a Jumbly

Baked en coquotte al fresco, on an open charcoal fire
Blanched and cooked with onions - Egon Ronay's heart's desire
Raise them in your garden, keep them fenced in with barbed wire
Always keep a jumbly in the house

Use their rendered suet as an analgesic rub
The hard and scaly tail will get the ring of the bath tub
The juice of one will sober you when you’ve been down the pub
(Yeah) Always keep a jumby in the house

Their fur is of a quality superior to mink
Ferment them for a year or so to make a potent drink
Stick them down the plughole to clear that blocked up sink
(And) Always keep a jumbly in the house

Cures all nasty foot complaints like athletes foot and corns
Put them on the carpet when the pile if getting worn
Use them in the springtime to kill the moss on lawns
(Yes) Always keep a jumby in the house

Use their bones as whetting stones to sharpen up your knife
Six skins make a waistcoat that will last you all your life
In Perus twenty jumbies will buy you a new wife
(So) Always keep a jumbly in the house

Used by the England football team and as seen on TV
All top people have them, [Michael Foot’s] got twenty three
Special offer while stocks last buy two and get one free
Always keep a jumby in the house

This offer is exclusive to the friends of Arthur Sproat
Send a letter to us for a no-commitment quote
For fourteen days free trial just send a five pound note
And always keep a jumby in the house
(Yeah) Always keep a jumbly in the house