The Emperor of France

I woke up this morning with a pain in my head
I went into the bathroom and then went back to bed
I didnít feel like work so I slept again instead

ch:	Itís exciting being the Emperor of France
	Itís exciting being the Emperor of France

At half past ten I realised that things had to be done
So I went and brushed my teeth cleaning right behind the gums
I marched my troops to Moscow before breakfast just for fun

I put on my Emperorís underwear freshly clean that day
Itís pink and white with lacy bits; Iím funny that way
Tight white trousers, jacket, and a tunic trimmed with grey

I went and brushed my teeth again; I like to keep them clean
And put my big black hat on: itís a gift from Josephine
I went and watched them practicing upon the guillotine

I toured round the countryside and waved at all the peasants
I even doffed my hat to them, the one that was a present
They waved and shouted: ďvivre la France!Ē I thought it rather pleasant

For lunch I had some frogs legs and an onion or two
And then with all my troops took the tube to Waterloo
I left before then end Ďcause we were losing seven-two

At half past ten I went to bed feeling tired as well I might
But Josephine was waiting and she turned off all the lights
I turned towards my teddy bear and whispered: ďnot tonightĒ

Theyíve offered me a holiday in the middle of the sea
With sun and sand Iíll be there for as long as I want to be
St Helena sounds nice, and they say it all comes free